#TuesdaysWithTasha Walk Through It

Life is super real for a lot of people I know right now including myself.  We can lie down and keep getting beat up or fight back. Yes, it hurts but you and everything you believe in is worth it. 

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It Heals Me

But, for real, I just want to stay under these covers, watch the Urban Movie Channel all day and chill. It’s cold and rainy and I’ve been busy.

But my shoulder isn’t going to get better while I’m lying in this bed. And while I do plan on taking a nap (naps are life), I can’t stay here. I’ve got stuff to do.

This is not about being “busy.” This is about healing.

I will wander myself into the bathroom and do all the stretches the orthopedist told me to do in order to get back on the road of gaining my shoulder strength back. I will wander upstairs and ease my body down onto the floor with one arm and get some Pilates done. I will go in there and blend that spinach up in that smoothie and drink it like a rock star. I will start writing the book I’ve been writing in my head for years.

It’s not a to do list. It’s my process.

People find it weird that I exercise at the most random and seemingly inconvenient times in my life. If you’ve ever cried on a elliptical then you probably get it. I’m beyond the point of making EVERYTHING about weight loss. Who cares how thin you are if you’re miserable? 

I climb up on those machines when my heart hurts the worst because it heals me.

I do Pilates to strengthen my pain which gives me less pain. It heals me.

I teach those classes when I want to quit because remembering my purpose is huge. It heals me.

I write because my friends don’t always “get it” and my therapist can’t follow me around 24/7. It heals me.

I eat spinach, arugula, drink almond milk and ask for vegan options (in spite of all of the “harmless” teasing my friends and family have done over the years) because I’m the only one who knows everything about me medically. It’s not “punishment.” It heals me.

I live the life I live now because I once lived a life that tried to destroy me; or should I say I tried to destroy myself. I know who I was. I know who I want to be. Exercise (doing it and teaching it), healthy food, writing, church, breathing, it heals me. I’m not an extremist. I’m not a beast. I’m not hardcore. 

I’m active in my own healing. It’s hard and it’s messy and it hurts. But every step I take here frees me just a little more. And I’ll take more…..after this movie and a nap. 😉

What heals you?

The winner of the Amazing Grass Giveaway is Deborah! Congratulations! Please email me at hiphealthychick@gmail.com with your information so we can send these goodies your way! 

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#TuesdaysWithTasha The Objects In The Mirror Are More Human Than They Appear

We’re so human. Ease up. 

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#DropFizzFeelAmazing: Amazing Grass Review and Giveaway

“….feel amazing….”

Those don’t sound like words coming from a woman who just had shoulder surgery ten days ago and feels like her life is one endless cycle of exhaustion and pain meds.

But actually, considering, I feel pretty good. Well, let’s just say good. 😊 I attribute that to spending as less time as possible and being mindful of what I put in my body before and after the surgery. One of those things was Amazing Grass Green Superfood Effervescent Greens Tablets. Lots of words. Lots of good. 😊 Continue reading

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Girl Edwards, Now 14

I could tell stories about my daughter’s birth that could make you laugh or make you cry. For some reason, for the past few days I’ve done both.

Today, my once cute little doll baby turns 14.  She is sometimes someone I feel like I just don’t understand. I’d like to say it’s because she is so much like her father. It’s really because she is nothing like I used to be. And that’s not a bad thing.

My daughter has always represented newness to me. She is my only girl. She was born a month before my husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I stopped taking anti-depressants because of her and had to learn to navigate life differently. I changed my diet (and hers too when she was a baby) because my perspective was different. And I took a job well below my pay grade to be able to afford day care for her so that she wouldn’t be stuck looking at me through the week while everyone else went off to school and work.

She is also things I never was as a girl. She loved bold prints and mismatched patterns. She is confident, has lots of friends, high self esteem, loves God and is an amazing athlete.

Well, she probably got that love of McDonald’s and ice cream from me but I digress.

Sometimes I don’t know how to relate. Maybe that’s the mother/teenage daughter struggle. Maybe that’s because she’s a daddy’s girl. Or maybe it’s because she turned out to be exactly who I raised her to be and she’s more like present day Tasha than teeenage Tasha. Maybe it’s because I’m frustrated that she doesn’t understand what I had to give for us both to be these people.

Maybe it’s because I’m often scared to death of what awaits her in the world and I’m trying to find a way to prepare her for it and she is more interested in being on SnapChat. Maybe I’ve been trying to raise her in the 21st century with 20th century logic. Maybe it’s because I am in awe of everything housed in that perfect body of hers.

Today is the day that I teach her to hold on to what makes her who she is with everything she’s got. While I will be thinking about the moments when she cried when I left, jumped for joy when I came home, spit up on me, crawled to me, let me comb her hair and asked me for all of the sparkly shirts when we went shopping, I will watch her grow through these last four years of childhood and remember that in spite of feeling like a failure as her mother, I have given her everything I have.

Happy Birthday, My Precious Love.

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