I write better when I’m in the moment.
Right now, I’m having a moment.
Can I just say, for the record, and to go ahead and clear the air before I start with this blog…PEOPLE GET ON MY NERVES!!!!!
There. I admitted it. I know. I know. We could all say that. I’m sure there are plenty people saying that about me, probably even as I type this. Yet there was something about today that just made me want to talk about these five letter words that I seem to be teeter tottering on with a lot of people. Because everyone has a story. Here’s mine…….
It’s super easy to look at peoples’ lives and think how things must come “easily” to them. I’ve been guilty of such. I’ve been “complemented” SEVERAL times on being such a “Super Woman;’ doing things on teams that no one else wanted to do, working longer hours, pursuing more certifications, teaching classes that weren’t popular and doing it several times a day, maintaining my sanity when my life was somewhere floating at the bottom of the ocean and not giving up. Ever. I think the term I’ve heard most is “BEAST.” Even my kids have called me a beast; in a good way.
But when that beast, that drive, that going all out and being all in no longer works for the good of the person using the aforementioned five letter, I then become the other five letter word that starts with a “b” because I expect too much, my expectations are too high, I don’t quit until it’s right, I will ask a million questions to make sure I understand and I have stopped running to put out other peoples’ fires and am trying line my life up so I never believe I HAVE to be “Super Woman” (who is a fictitious character, by the way).
And as people go back and forth between words, not just about me but any woman who works hard, knows what it’s like to have to sacrifice, knows that EVERYTHING is earned, not looking to be rescued and has ambition the size of all the planets put together, well, I pose this question:
Do you have any idea how hard it is to be me/her/us?
I could go into the “raised in an impoverished neighborhood” story because that would be true. I could tell you about the depression, the suicide attempts, eating disorders, bankruptcies, death, foreclosure and that one time the story of my personal life made international news. I could tell you about the body image problems, the multiple stories, my time on food stamps, the unexplained illnesses, sleepless nights and all the times I looked around and saw no one but my own reflection. THAT is what makes me a beast or whatever you call it. It’s call DRIVE; the will to succeed, the ability to get up, the ability to get things done, the ability to know that it WILL get better but I have to put in work, the ability face adversity, death, character defamation, fear, judgement, LIFE.
And if that makes me that other five letter word to some then so be it. I prefer this five letter word:
So I had this little Wednesday evening rant to say to you don’t you DARE allow any title to define you or your journey. People will praise you and crucify you all in one breath. How do you define yourself?
Now roll with that……