Lemonade, Chocolate Cake, Life: A Year Later

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“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and chocolate cake and leave others wondering how you did it.” 

Last year, on this date, life left a pair of lemon trees in the yard of my existence. I’ve been squeezing the hell out of them since.

The hardest year of my life has come to an end. Now what?

This is not rocket science. This is not complicated. It’s simple.

I live.

I have felt very emotion possibly listed in the universe, sometimes hundreds of them a day. I’ve had lots of sleepless nights, have faced financial ruin, had my share of therapy appointments, sent more than enough 2,000 word texts to friends when I couldn’t bear to let them hear me cry, ate my weight in chocolate, drank enough Starbucks to resink the Titanic and spent countless hours staring at the ceiling when I should have been somewhere being Tasha Fierce.

I’ve also fought REALLY hard; EVERY day. This year has been as mentally amazing as it has been hard. I’ve changed. And I’m so thankful.  God is good.

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I thought I’d struggle today.  The memories, the flashbacks often times leave me on my knees.  I woke up and did the one thing that was taken away from me last year.  I skipped into my son’s room, jumped on his back while he was still asleep in his bed and screamed, “Happy Birthday!!!!” He is different now.  He has scars both physical and mental but he has changed too; for the better.  He’s stronger. He’s wiser.  He’s more focused.  But he still wants cake today.  I thank God that some things in our lives have remained the same.

The sacrifices I have had to make this past year both personally and professionally both public and private have been painful.  Yet somehow the lemonade I’ve been forced to drink taste delicious.  I feel refreshed.  I’ve been forced to look at life differently.  I’m thankful.

Courage. Guts. Resilience. Faith. Vulnerability. It took all of that.  It almost took me out but here I am with a fork and a glass.

It’s a New Year.  Let’s go, Life!

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Happy Birthday, Jai. 🙂

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