“If Only”….That Body Thing Again

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I’m sitting in the lobby of my hotel here in L.A. with my body still on Central Standard Time.  It is not a pretty sight.  However, I’ve had a great time seeing all of my fitness friends from around the world (yep, even saw my boy from Singapore when I was leaving registration).  I’m amazed at how much can change in a year.  I’m not just speaking about my life (obviously) but I’m speaking about my attitude towards coming to conferences like these where I would normally be wrapped up in traveling with eight pair of shoes for three days and multiple outfits (in case I got in my feelings and wanted to wear orange instead of blue) and felt EXTREMELY intimidated by all of the people pulling chicken breasts out of their bags with muscles bigger than my head looking and sounding more fit than me.

I have changed.

But I still struggle. And I didn’t have to come here to have such a moment.  

Photo Jun 01, 12 08 50 PM

Just the other day, I was in the group fitness room, alone, after a class.  My legs and I have had a love/hate relationship for far too long (although it was the ONE thing I was complemented on the most often growing up) and I actually looked at myself and thought, “You know, you do have nice legs.”

Photo May 25, 12 04 51 PM

And then I heard HER.  You know HER.

And she said, “If only you could get rid of the excess skin around your belly though.”

Boom. And there I was again, second guessing all the work I had been doing and just feeling like I had to have it all together, questioning my whole life, thinking about all the water I had not drank and all of the McDonald’s milk shakes I HAD drank in my lifetime.  Visions of Harold’s Chicken and Giordano’s and one too many drinks in downtown Nashville danced crossed my head.  I thought about the chocolate I had eaten all week.  Long gone were the thoughts of the days when I had busted my butt in the gym AND the kitchen to push past life’s challenges to do my best to be my best.  Three inches of skin was defining my whole life.

I wanted to punch HER in the face.

To have that on your conscious when you are in the same building with Tony Horton, Jillian Michaels and Elaine LaLanne, who, at 90 years old, got on stage and busted out 6 push-ups on her toes with a rotator cuff energy, can be intimidating….if you let it.  However, if you realize it only stops you, only paralyzes you IF YOU LET IT. Forget her. 

Photo Aug 03, 10 09 46 AM

 

If only we realize what masterpieces we were, carefully crafted and created differently and beautifully.

And my legs are looking good. 🙂

The winner of the Amazing Grass giveaway (chosen by random.org) is Dagmar.  Congratulations! Please email me at hiphealthychick@gmail.com to claim your prize!

 

This entry was posted in 2016, Amazing Grass, body image. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to “If Only”….That Body Thing Again

  1. Sunny says:

    Your legs looks fantastic!!