Detox Day 16: The REAL Reason You’re Struggling With Your Weight by Melissa Danielle

As soon as I said “detox,” folks came running.

What was I taking? What was I eating and, more importantly, what was I going to give up?

Nothing. I’m over giving up stuff in the name of weight loss and trying to find approval from people who would never like me anyway.  Been there. Done that.  Could have written ten books on the subject.  The truth of the matter is my REAL transformation came from the knowledge of something bigger.

before after hip healthy chick

I met Melissa while working on the Sistah Vegan project many years ago with Dr. Breeze Harper.  It was an amazing community and while not everyone was vegan, EVERYONE was trying to live a better life.  I eventually followed in Melissa’s footsteps and became a holistic health coach through the Institute of Integrative Nutrition.  She is the real deal.  Read on.

The Real Reason You’re Still Struggling with Your Weight

Melissa Danielle

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.


To me, that’s exactly what the weight loss industry is doing, helping people go insane, and collecting tons of money doing so.


Despite years of science and pseudoscience telling you to eat this and not that, the vast majority of people struggling with weight fail to maintain long-term weight loss. They jump from one diet to the next, or undergo invasive surgeries to shrink their stomachs, never actually addressing the underlying reasons that caused them to gain so much weight in the first place. And they continue this for years, all in the name of of trying to fit into a socially constructed ideal body type. And when none of this works, they are made to feel like failures.


When you don’t experience the results you want from a diet, it’s not because you’ve failed, it’s because the diet has failed you.


Diets don’t work.


Some of us like to think we’re above the diet dogma, but it affects all of us on even the smallest levels, from our thoughts about healthy vs unhealthy foods to how we judge other people’s food choices and their bodies.


And boy, are we judging.


So here’s the real reason you’re not losing weight:


You think your weight problem has to do with food.


Yes, you may very well be making food choices that are not in the best interest of your health and well-being.


Yes, there are food options on the market that are less than ideal.


But that’s not why you’re holding on to weight you don’t need and don’t want.


When you’re honest about the real reason you’re not where you want to be in your life, then you can get down to the business of shedding the unwanted pounds and living the life of health and happiness you desire.


Because if food were the problem, then all that eat this, not that diet dogma would actually be working!


For everyone.


Food is not the problem, it’s the solution.


Instead of depriving and punishing yourself with food, here’s an idea:




Eat really good food, food you love, food that looks good, food that nourishes you, food that connects and reconnects you to memory, family, friends, and your heritage.



Instead of dieting, you might need to get rid of your husband and keep eating cake. (Tweet this.)


Instead of drinking cayenne-spiked lemonade*,  you could quit that soul-sucking job and start that business you’ve dreaming of.


Instead of a juice cleanse, you could take a real hard look at your relationship with money and hire a financial advisor to help get you out of debt and set some long-term money goals.


Maybe the detox you need is getting rid of all the clutter that’s taking up space in your life, keeping you from enjoying your home, time with friends, and intimacy with your lover.


Maybe the detox you need is the one that lets you forgive whatever happened to you in your childhood, accepting that you can’t change the past, but you can move forward and choose something different for your life with each new day.


Maybe the detox you need is one that frees you from all the negative self-talk that runs through your head. How might a daily diet of gratitude change your life?


And then you could start to drink a green juice here, some cayenne lemonade there, in addition to what you’re already eating.


Because no amount of food deprivation will resolve whatever isn’t working in your life.


So how about you ditch the diets and the detoxes in favor of creating space for what really nourishes you?


Melissa Danielle spent over ten years building community around food as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach in NYC, connecting farmers to eaters and getting folks to spend more time in the outdoors. She currently resides in Hawaii, where she instigates conversations on food, sex, and intimacy and shows her clients how to use technology and community to simplify and achieve their wellness goals. Visit her online at

*Drinking lemon juice and cayenne pepper is actually beneficial for breaking up and expelling excess mucus and reducing inflammation. So drink away, just not in the absence of food altogether.

This entry was posted in 2016, detox, guest blogger, Melissa Danielle, weight loss. Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.