Four words have created a world of havoc in my life for years:
“I cannot afford it.”
Those four words were actually a cover up for these four words:
“I am not worthy.”
The truth is, at this point in my life, it is not cost effective for me to purchase the blue BMW my heart desires. The truth is I have the “I cannot afford it” conversation with myself about workout clothes, dinner, coffee, a movie ticket, a dress, an extra couple of avocados, a pair of earrings. I basically told myself I was not worthy to spend three extra dollars to have a bigger container of guacamole.
The conversation is bigger.
As a personal trainer and coach, I understand that my services are considered “luxury” for most. I remember, as a single mother struggling with my weight, I had to make major sacrifices just to pay my membership at the YMCA. However, I was scared to death at that time. My fear of not being around for my son kept me working hard and long before the days of blogs and Facebook, apps and Instagram. I had to find support and information in other places and keep myself going. The truth of the matter is while I did successfully lose weight, it took me a while because I had no idea that I shouldn’t do the same workout routine with the same weights for six months. I wish I had cut out an activity or two for a personal training session.
But I couldn’t afford it.
Self care is one of those things we always seem to say we “can’t afford.” We clap our hands and nod our heads when Iyanla is helping people dig into their dark spaces, when Bob, Jen and Dolvett are helping clients get to their next physical level and when Dr. Phil is asking people, “And how’s that working for you?” but, in our mind, that’s for “other people.” We know we have those issues. We know we need the help.
Personal training is expensive. Coaching and counseling is a waste of of time.
We just can’t afford it.
Social media will tell us we just don’t see it as a priority, which is true for a lot of people. The part you rarely hear is that most of us just don’t believe we are worth the investment. What we can’t afford is to not make the change. We fight with the voices of our past, the stories we have told ourselves over and over again and have convinced ourselves that self care is a luxury, something “extra” and anything like getting our minds and health right is just a matter of discipline.
If that were the case, I would have never been overweight in the first place. I would have never gained the weight back. I would have never had an eating disorder. I would have never battled depression.
If I had to think about four words that have helped me move forward, they have been:
I deserve it all.
What is it that you REALLY want? And what would it take for you to get to the point for you to believe you deserve it? If you realized you were three personal training sessions, two coaching sessions or one therapist away from your breakthrough, would your vision of your worth change? Would you believe in yourself more? Would you invest in the path?
Or would you say, “I can’t afford it” and give it all up to chance?
It’s a new month and it’s time to think a new way. Can you afford to stay where you are in your mind or is it time to move forward?