They Can Mind Their Own Business. Keep Going

ActivMotion Bar

I had just finished up with a client and a regular gym goer approached me and said,
“Doesn’t it bother you that your client don’t change?  Does it bother you that they are obese?  Maybe they should work on their food. That’s what I do.”

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I paused before I opened my mouth.  I wanted to keep my job.

My response was that of a trainer yet it was for the many years I have had to personally deal with people judging my life, my body and my diet without knowing ANYTHING about whether I was really changing or not and if I wasn’t why, my level of commitment, why I kept showing up and why people like him often time made me second guess my choice to be there in the first place.  My response was for all the times I felt like the gym or little boutique fitness places that felt like cliques had quietly told me I didn’t belong. It was for all the times people glared at me or even had the audacity to ask me why I was still “thick” (or full or solid or not thin) when I was a trainer and/or fitness instructor.  My response was for all of the times I starved myself or binge ate in private because I was stuck in trying to live up to standard I would never reach. Those people, “them” were going to kill me with their opinions, if I let them.

I stepped to the mic.


“Sir, they do change. What YOU see on the outside is not necessarily a representation of the metamorphosis a person goes through when they start a fitness program with a trainer. All of my clients are women, professional women. Not only is their stress from being at the top of their fields and having to live out roles as mothers, grandmothers, wives, sisters, aunts, caretakers, but as we age, our bodies change. We have different illnesses, hormonal issues, injuries.  It may not be a person’s discipline or diet at all.  The changes we work towards are mind shifts and habits. And they still show up.”

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Here’s what I want you to know if you feel like someone is all in your business wondering why you haven’t lost 900 pounds even though you go to the gym every day.  The struggle is real.  If you are doing it the RIGHT way, IT TAKES WORK.  There is no magic.


As for “them”, and them could be people who have been genetically pre-disposed to never having to deal with a weight issue, people who don’t have hormone issues or have never had an injury set them back, people who use pills and other crazy diet things to only eat 200 calories a day, people who’ve lost weight and have forgotten what it’s like to be in the trenches trying to get it done or people who just have something to say about EVERYTHING, well, we don’t really care what they have to say about OUR journey. We have some place to be and that’s what matters.


I get it.  Words hurt.  What hurts worse is realizing we allowed someone’s words to keep us stuck.


I, like many of you, have work to do.  Forget them. Them don’t have to live in your body or live your life. YOU keep going. I will keep going. Let’s do this!

This entry was posted in 2016, personal training, self image, weight loss, women. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to They Can Mind Their Own Business. Keep Going

  1. Emma says:


  2. Cynthia says:

    Love this!

  3. Candi says:

    As a person working through exactly this – thank you for the encouragement. All some people can see is that my jeans are a bigger size rather than the fact that I’m consistently working, consistently eating right, consistently trying to get my much-needed good night’s sleep. There are some things outside of my control so I’m thankful you are a speaker of the Truth – just when I need to hear it!