“Stay positive and keep praying.”
I wanted to scream when a friend spoke these words to me even though I knew it was the ONLY answer to the situation. What else was I suppose to do? I have already figured out that Facebook rants, soy lattes and chocolate cake do not solve problems. Life was happening and I was either going to throw a temper tantrum and demand that it stop with no resolve or I was going to get up and handle what I could and do it with God and a good attitude.
I have finally decided the latter, for good.
Chronic complaining and unhappiness about where you are in life has a name. In my world it’s been known as anxiety, headaches, weight gain, sleepless nights, isolation and absentmindedness. As I struggle to get back to “myself,” (really a NEW self. I’m looking to upgrade) I realize how much focusing on the problems did to me physically. There was a period where I did lose weight (I basically stopped eating) but the weight of feeling hopeless kept me teeter tottering with the same five pounds. My endurance and strength have suffered. Where I used to be able to teach my classes and have the energy to do extra, I have to really dig deep just to get through the basics and then I’m ready to go to bed the minute I get home.
My desire has suffered too. Even as a trainer, the more I told myself how hard life was, the more I gave myself permission to not work out. I’m not talking self compassion like the mornings when life took me and threw me across the room like the Exorcist. I’m talking about when I let feeling sorry for myself keep me in the bed when there was a squat rack waiting for me. I didn’t want to face people. I didn’t want to face myself. Negativity swallowed me.
It won’t win. It won’t work.
This entire process has led me to rethinking my language, my physical space, my circle of friends, my food and my workouts. Life isn’t going to stop for me so I have to go with it. The question is how am I am going to travel?
Rule #1 from Erykah Badu: Pack light.
It’s time for a detox, a real one. This is bigger than lemon juice and water. I’m inviting you to come along for the journey. Do you need to clear some space and upgrade?
We’ll talk about this Monday. 😊
The winner of the Core Organic giveaway is Steph! Congratulations! Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your information.