On This Day I Survived More Than a Workout 

It’s a really odd time to write a blog post but tonight I HAVE to write.  The first reason is because I’m too sore to do anything else and the second reason is because now that I have slowed down, my heart can feel.

 
It’s been an awesome. I had my girls. I had my Starbucks. I’m in L.A. I’ve worked out with Jeanette Jenkins, Jillian Michaels AND Beto Perez today. But I woke up with tears coming down my face that I was successful at hiding my from my roommates.

 Today is my son Jordan’s birthday. And death day.  Nineteen years ago at 1:55 p.m. my son Jordan took his last breath in my arms shortly after birth. It was the beginning of my demise: my marriage eventually ended, I gained and enormous amount of weight and was severely depressed and suicidal. I had just turned 21 only 11 days before.  Some years it doesn’t bother me. I quietly grieve and I go on. This year, I’m under a lot of stress, I just turned 40 and my second son (healthy and amazing) is getting ready to turn 18. I think it’s just one of those years that everything is affecting me….

Or maybe those tears were “I MADE IT” tears. I fought for my LIFE.  I’m here feeling stronger than I’ve felt in a long time, surrounded by people who”get” me, love me and haven’t yet told me to shut up about meeting Jeanette Jenkins. I haven’t been on anti-depressants in years (not to say I wouldn’t use them if I needed them) and my dreams feel like more of a reality today than ever. And it’s all because one day, I decided to change my life. I wanted to LIVE. And I have never made it optional since.

 

Fight for your life. Healing starts with the choice. Click To Tweet

Jordan would be proud of me. 🙂

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10 Responses to On This Day I Survived More Than a Workout 

  1. Every time I think I’ve feel like I’ve gotten a handle on how much you’ve triumphed over the obstacles you’ve shared, I learn something new about you that just makes you even more admirable.

    I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I can’t imagine the pain and I’m certain even now that pain is raw and deep. I don’t have words to let you know how deeply sorry I am for this kind of loss.

    I can let you know just how much I admire that you put your cards on the table like few others I know (virtually and IRL) and I feel honored to have you and your words/stories in my universe.

    Thank you for sharing both your strength and your struggle. It means more than you van image to more than you realize.

    Much love to you today and always, T.

  2. Bain says:

    The world is a better place with you in it. Thank you for boldly sharing yourself with us this weekend; I’m so glad I got up meet you.

    • HipHealthyChick says:

      Thank you, one of my new favorite people! ❤️ Glad we got to connect, Sister.

  3. Wow. My heart is being pulled with sadness but also this strong pull of pride for you – how you’ve overcome so much and you have such a real and healthy outlook. I wish we had gotten more chance to talk this weekend, but I am so glad to have met you!

    • HipHealthyChick says:

      Thank you so much, Love. We just keep going. We are brave and appreciative of everything we learn on our journey. And social media can help us feel like we’re neighbors so let’s keep getting to know each other. ❤️

  4. Exactly what Melissa said – you are an overcomer! More than I know. Thanks for sharing about this though, I wish I would’ve seen it before I left. I hope good things come from all that is happening in your life right now. I pray the good lessons & memories of this weekend help energize you to go BE A BEAST and make your dreams a reality. 😀 Can’t say enough how much I love your passion!

    • HipHealthyChick says:

      Thank you so much, Beautiful. I’m going for it. WE are going for it! ❤️

  5. Sarah says:

    You are amazing and so inspiring Tasha. Thanks for being who you are and inspiring me to live with more passion and love. I teared up reading this. This quote resonated with me, “I’m here feeling stronger than I’ve felt in a long time, surrounded by people “get” me” – I felt the same way this weekend. Lots of love!