It’s something a lot of people don’t notice about me…or if they do, they NEVER ask me what it is or what happened. Sometimes I forget it’s there. Sometimes I just want to forget it’s there.
I know. It’s just a little moon shaped scar by my right eye that you probably never noticed was there until I mentioned it, sort of like the way it doesn’t bother me until someone else mentions it, like a lot of other scars, both physical and mental, I have. But what happens when someone celebrates it? Yeah. Caught me off guard too.
I was leaving Whole Foods in Atlanta after lovingly getting beat up on all weekend at the Lebert Training Systems Master Training Summit. I was tired physically and emotionally. See, fitness gatherings and conferences are NOT my favorite things in the world. I LOVE learning new things but, honestly, can’t stand the competition and hatefulness that can often go on behind the scenes. I I came into this whole thing with my guards up. I found out I had no reason. It was, well, different. And I didn’t quite know how to process it. So, I’m in line with my thoughts all over the place and the cashier greets me with the biggest smile and says, “Hey, Love! How are you today?” If you catch me on one of my better days then you know those are practically the same words that fly out of my mouth when I greet people or send texts. I responded as happily as I could for a person who was super sore and hadn’t had coffee. She looked me and exclaimed, “Hey!!! We’re twinsies!!!!’ It’s only a word I know because I have a pre-teen at home but it took me a minute to realize what she was referring to and I almost choked when she pointed to the moon-shaped scar on her face.
Who in the WORLD wants to be twinsies over THAT?!?! Did she know my story? Did she know I had been hit across the face FOR NO REASON just because I was IN THE WAY, the way I always feel IN THE WAY when I go to the conferences and I feel like I’m too old, my butt is too big, I’m just a dancer not a boot camp person, I’m not flexible enough, I’m weak because I got super nauseous……..
……yeah. It all came to my thoughts in about three seconds.
And then I took a breath.
Because maybe she had been hit too.
And maybe she understood my pain. Maybe she too had been through some things, had a story, had overcome some challenges, had felt like fate hadn’t been fair to her, dealt with some insecurities from time to time. Maybe she was just as relieved to see me as I realized I was to see her.
Because we heal not from hiding our scars but acknowledging we have them and helping others to be strong because we’ve been there and we can understand.
It’s what I do every day. I’m willing to point out my scars and say, “We’re twinsies! I get it.” And it helps others to let their guards down because they no longer feel alone and odd and ashamed. We are all more alike than different.
After I got my coffee, drove four hours home and managed to carry myself in the house, I looked in the bathroom mirror and realized I had completely “missed” two very tragic, life changing “anniversaries” in my life because I was so involved in the healing process of being a part of a team who wanted me to BE a part of their team and being authentic with my scars and my desire for healing. I literally cried in the shower, “I’m free!”
They aren’t just “scars.” They are battle wounds. They are signs of our survival. And because we HAVE survived, we’re going to help someone else get back up and get to the next level. That’s the healing process.