I left church. Got in my car. Same thing. I fought my ego. I didn’t want to do it. But what if something happened? What if God was really telling me to say something? So I pulled out my cell phone and sent a text.
Now if you’ve ever gotten one of “those” texts from me then you know I’m good for about 5,000 characters at least and that doesn’t included all the smiling emojis and (((((HUGS))))). But I kept it simple. It went something like “Hey there. How are you? Hope you had a good Christmas. You were the first thing on my mind this morning. Just wanted you to know that I’m praying for you. I’m always praying for you. Love you.” Or something like that. You all know how I do. 🙂 I received a text back that said, “Thank you, Tasha.” No hello back. No Merry Late Christmas. That was it.
And that is pretty much the synopsis of my 2014.
I felt like I was right, like I was being led. I rushed into things with enthusiasm and felt knocked on my butt when my joy, love, hard work, excitement, authenticity, courage, innovation, accomplishments and fearlessness were met with what I “felt” was a bunch of “I couldn’t care less-ness.” God, was I wrong? Had I worked this hard for NO reason? Was it all pointless? Should I have just spent my time on the couch stuffing cashews down my throat, watching reality t.v., learning to use words like “fleek” correctly and doing just enough in my classes and training sessions to get paid? Was this it?
What I did in 2014 and so many years before was let another person’s response/attitude about what I was doing or how I was doing it distract me. I spent 2014 DISTRACTED.
I was too distracted to REALLY breathe in that I was in Fitness Magazine this year, that I was an Under Armour ambassador this year, that I completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training this year, that I came back from an Achilles surgery and attended three fitness conferences, taught at another one and taught two Piloxing trainings within four months of not being able to out my foot down on the ground without excruciating pain. I got to share my testimony at church this year. I more than doubled my social media followers this year. I worked with I don’t know how many brands this year. I had a blog post go viral and get almost 20,000 hits this year. I yanked myself from the darkness of depression this winter and worked out more during these cold months than I have ever in life. I tried acro yoga. I went to Savannah for the first time. And Puerto Rico. And Anaheim. And both Disney Land and Disney World. went back to Atlanta. And New York. I attended Wanderlust. I did the Ice Bucket challenge. I read a lot of good books.
And while I do wonder how far I could have gotten if I were not pre-occupied with the opinions of others and their reactions to what I was doing, I do know that with every breath I take, there is a new opportunity for change.
If I had a resolutions (which I’m in my feelings about that word but that’s another post), it would be to MIND MY OWN BUSINESS. When God says, “GO!” I’m going and no one has to respond to a text or pat me on the back or like my posts. I’m getting more clear about why I do what I do every day. And it’s not to please people. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt. Threw it in the trash. Over it.
And now I can begin.
What was your year like? What change are you looking forward to the most?