Life hurts sometimes. This I know for sure. But I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I didn’t believe there was something better on the other side. What if I had never decided my weight was a problem, that my emotional instability was dangerous, that I hated my career, that swallowing my thoughts, hopes, dreams and opinions to appease others was killing me? What if I had never decided to swallow my pride and take that minimum wage job selling memberships at a gym, given up meat and dairy that was destroying my body against the advice of EVERYONE I knew (including my doctor), kept showing up when I knew others were doing everything they could to bring me down? What if I stopped teaching after the first surgery, quit after my weight started flip flopping, fell into a hole and stayed there when heartbreak after heartbreak literally had me gasping for air?
Just exhale. It was all I could do. Holding my breath, thinking and anticipating the worst was killing me. When I exhaled, I moved forward into whatever “it” was and while I took some beatings, I’ve climbed some mountains, some HUGE ones.
I know someone reading this is struggling and you want to know if it’s worth it. Let me assure you that YOU are worth it. I have so many physical and emotional scars it’s crazy. But scars just mean I made it out. Alive. You will too. Keep going. Aim to do more than survive. Thrive. Excel. Get to the top. You are searching for the light. It’s searching for you.