Five Months Ago….

I won’t talk long.  Just needed to pause for a minute.  I needed to pause and remember this:

Photo Aug 26, 4 18 18 PMFive months ago today, I went to surgery to have the bursae sack removed from my Achilles.  I had no idea that I wouldn’t be able to walk.  I had no idea I wouldn’t be able to put my toe down on the ground without screaming my head off.  I had no idea that I’d be on crutches for weeks.  I had no idea that life would change so drastically.Photo Aug 26, 4 18 17 PMI literally cried when I looked at this picture.  I didn’t know how “bad” it was because I couldn’t see it.  And I’ve never shown it to anyone but my husband and my mother until now.  And I’m showing it now because I really want you to get what I’m saying.

TashaPiloxing-108I had been teaching for YEARS in pain.  Workshops, classes, certifications, dance, recitals.  I even trained for and ran a half marathon in pain. I was actually training for another one when my injury got worse and my doctor pulled me.  I was trying to prove that LAST point.  I could do it.  It wasn’t as bad as it seemed.

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It wasn’t.  What was bad was me ignoring a problem that could have been resolved without surgery had I paid attention to it before.

And you’d think I would have learned my lesson, right?

IMG_20140812_211441Photo Sep 15, 6 27 52 PMPhoto Sep 17, 9 27 48 PMPhoto Sep 17, 11 55 38 AMI did.  Sort of.

I’m back it.  And I’d be lying if I told you my heel doesn’t hurt.  It hurts a lot.  Most days.  But I am so much more conscious and joyous.  I am conscious of my movement, how I’m holding my body, my stretches, when it feels tight, when I need to come down on the impact, when I need to go there a little because I’m just afraid.  Joyous because I remember crying about needing help going to the bathroom and sleeping on my back and need pain pills and feeling absolutely helpless and lost while being separated from something I really love: movement.  If you’ve been to my classes in the past couple of months you can probably tell there is a “lightness” about them.  It’s just not that serious.  Sitting on that couch watching endless amount of “Snapped” episodes was serious.

The road back is never easy.  The road there wasn’t a straight shot either.  But it could have been worse.  And I still have the opportunity to grow in a different way: mentally.  I may not be able to move as quickly but I find that as a blessing in disguise.  I actually needed to slow down, in every aspect, and enjoy what was in front of me.

See you on the dance or gym floor. 🙂

Photo Sep 15, 5 18 25 PM

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The winner of the Now Foods Giveaway is Lacey M.! Congratulations! Thanks to everyone who entered and thanks to Now Foods for offering such an awesome giveaway!

This entry was posted in #IWillWhatIWant, 2014, injury, Recovery, Surgery. Bookmark the permalink.

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