I won’t talk long. Just needed to pause for a minute. I needed to pause and remember this:
Five months ago today, I went to surgery to have the bursae sack removed from my Achilles. I had no idea that I wouldn’t be able to walk. I had no idea I wouldn’t be able to put my toe down on the ground without screaming my head off. I had no idea that I’d be on crutches for weeks. I had no idea that life would change so drastically.I literally cried when I looked at this picture. I didn’t know how “bad” it was because I couldn’t see it. And I’ve never shown it to anyone but my husband and my mother until now. And I’m showing it now because I really want you to get what I’m saying.
I had been teaching for YEARS in pain. Workshops, classes, certifications, dance, recitals. I even trained for and ran a half marathon in pain. I was actually training for another one when my injury got worse and my doctor pulled me. I was trying to prove that LAST point. I could do it. It wasn’t as bad as it seemed.
It wasn’t. What was bad was me ignoring a problem that could have been resolved without surgery had I paid attention to it before.
And you’d think I would have learned my lesson, right?
I’m back it. And I’d be lying if I told you my heel doesn’t hurt. It hurts a lot. Most days. But I am so much more conscious and joyous. I am conscious of my movement, how I’m holding my body, my stretches, when it feels tight, when I need to come down on the impact, when I need to go there a little because I’m just afraid. Joyous because I remember crying about needing help going to the bathroom and sleeping on my back and need pain pills and feeling absolutely helpless and lost while being separated from something I really love: movement. If you’ve been to my classes in the past couple of months you can probably tell there is a “lightness” about them. It’s just not that serious. Sitting on that couch watching endless amount of “Snapped” episodes was serious.
The road back is never easy. The road there wasn’t a straight shot either. But it could have been worse. And I still have the opportunity to grow in a different way: mentally. I may not be able to move as quickly but I find that as a blessing in disguise. I actually needed to slow down, in every aspect, and enjoy what was in front of me.
See you on the dance or gym floor. 🙂
The winner of the Now Foods Giveaway is Lacey M.! Congratulations! Thanks to everyone who entered and thanks to Now Foods for offering such an awesome giveaway!