Yesterday was rough.
It was one of those days that I had just had enough.
But no one knew it.
This morning I woke up earlier than expected (meaning my kids were moving around and waking me up and I was pretty irritated at the entire event and needed to do something with all of the negative energy I’m sure I was giving off) and decided to go to the gym. I thought about going to Wal-Mart first (a workout all its own) but the gym first. And I made one agreement with myself…..No phone. No pictures.
I wanted to just go in the gym and do work. I didn’t want to think about the angle of the pictures, re-doing my selfies because they didn’t look right, catching the equipment and the Planet Fitness logo in one shot. I wanted to work out without any distraction because my life has become one HUGE distraction. I’m all over the place. And while I kept thinking about all of the great shots I was missing. as my “simple” leg workout started to burn, my thoughts became more focused. I completed:
- 2.5 miles on the upright stationary bike (challenging resistance, steady pace)
- 5 sets of 10 leg extensions (challenging enough weight that by the time I got to seven, I was ready for them to be over.)
- 3 sets of 15 leg presses
- 1.5 miles on the elliptical (challenging pace)
- 5 sets of 10 leg curls (again I had the weight at an amount that by seven, I was over it))
- 3 sets of 15 decline leg presses
- 1 mile of fast paced walking on a 3.5% incline (right at the speed of needing to hold on but forcing myself not to)
While I was in there, these things came to my head:
- After five minutes on the elliptical, I wasn’t even sweating. Back in the day, five minutes on the elliptical was synonymous with death.
- I loved seeing the words “no judgement zone” while I was working out at Planet Fitness. I needed it for myself. Walking on an incline after having knee surgery and achilles surgery (which still hurts) was a challenge but a good one. And I’m proud of myself (no matter how slow I felt like I was going) for accepting the challenge.
- When I saw the logo for “Life Fitness” on the equipment, I wondered how many of them knew the story of the founder Augie Nieto and were thankful for their bodies and health as he has been attacked with ALS and can no longer use the very thing he invented (hearing his story and seeing him and his wife at the IDEA World Convention is what prompted several of my fitness friends and I to complete the Ice Bucket Challenge. It’s bigger than a “fad” but I digress….)
- Hearing MC Hammer on my Ipod changed the way I was feeling about what it is that I’m doing ….”Either work hard or you might as well quit.”
And then, as I was in Kroger, buying my $.99/lb organic black grapes (yes, that’s big. These are my favorite and they ALWAYS seem to be the MOST expensive….) I got a phone call from one of my leaders (“bosses” sounds like such a distant word and I appreciate the people who let me work with and on their programs. And there are a lot of them). I was a little nervous because, well, it’s a Saturday. I started wondering if I had volunteered for something and forgotten (I’m very reliable but, again, lately, I’m all over the place). She told me she was vacuuming and God placed it on her heart to call me and check on me.
Because I needed it.
We had a conversation about the SAME thing that sent me to bed early last night.
I’m overwhelmed…with the “business” and the “business of being Tasha.” And it’s about prioritizing. I know what I do is my calling. I have no doubt. But sometimes I’ve mistaken/misused/misread the calling and ended up feeling drained, confused, bitter and like a rebellious child, which has been known to manifest itself like, umm, not working out, falling into the prison of comparison and envy, believing I had no reach, believing I wasn’t the one for the job, believing that everything I ever did was in vain.
And this morning, well, let’s just say I didn’t only see the light but I decided to be it….not just in the lives of others but in my own life as well.
a policy, statement or platform; a proclamation, pronouncement, announcement.
Today, mine would read:
“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine….”
What about you?