“It’s been three weeks since you’ve been looking for your friend, the one you helped lift and never called you again. Remember when she told you it was ’bout the Bejamins. You act like you and her would become a little trend….”
I am pretty sure Lauryn Hill wasn’t writing these lyrics (o.k., so I changed them a little) for this situation but sometimes I feel that way. People feel all excited about their “lifestyle change.” They buy new clothes, follow all the #Fitfam and #FitFluential Instagram accounts, download My Fitness Pal, join somebody’s 21 day challenge and go buy quinoa for the very first time. You’re excited for them. You cheer them on. You buy them a protein shaker bottle. You invite them to come work out with you. It lasts about a week.
You can’t figure out why someone would not want to count macros, increase their one rep max or or get up at 4:00 a.m. to get the “good” treadmill. It’s about a thing. And sometimes, often times, it’s the wrong thing.
We love the thrill of it. We love bright, shiny objects and the “newness” of setting goals. We just don’t always find that “thing” or THE thing that keeps us committed. And people who are committed often times forget what that part of the process is like and call it “lazy” or “not wanting it bad enough.” And that’s not always the case.
I remember, while living in Nashville, after signing up for a gym membership for the millionth time, I had a free session with a trainer named Tony. Tony was buff and, now that I know the business, looking for a personal training sale. He went about it the wrong way. Forget DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness, you know, when you wake up sore a day or two after working out hard). I couldn’t drive my car when I left the gym. I was so discouraged at the fact that he tried to kill me and in so much pain that I forgot why I joined the gym in the first place (needing to get my life together for my son) and probably went to eat ice cream after I got the feeling back in my arms. Fear can make us revert back to our old programming especially when we that thing we wanted seems too hard.
Yes, I know. My son was more important than the pain. But in THAT moment, I couldn’t think. It’s how a lot of us function: in the moment. We join gyms where we’re not comfortable in the moment. We hire trainers that don’t have the same vision we have in the moment. We choose supplements because someone sold us a dream in the moment. We subscribe to a certain way of eating in the moment. And in one moment, we’ll give it up because we were never connected to it in the first place.
Where’s your friend now? Or where are you? Somewhere looking for that thing. If it doesn’t sustain you, beyond money, beyond the moment, beyond the initial momentum then that’s not it. Real, sincere, lasting lifestyle changes require us to dig deep, deeper than we think. It’s not something that can be forced upon us. We have to be willing to take the steps.
Have you made a lifestyle change? What was “that thing” that helped you keep going?