Today is day seven since my surgery and whoa……what an emotional roller coaster it has been. I’ve been angry, depressed, inspired, exhausted, motivated, loving, discouraged, in pain, in bliss and in my head. I’ve spent a lot of time asleep and on the couch watching “Snapped,” “Forensic Files,” and “Perry Mason.” I’m ready to get back into the gym AND solve murders.
I’ve been having some really uncomfortable pain the past two days and sleeping has been uncomfortable as I cannot put my foot down or up on anything without it hurting. And in case you’ve never been without the use of a foot before, let me tell you, you don’t realize how much you use it until you can’t. I called the doctor and they agreed to see me before my appointment next week and survey my stitches. If everything looks o.k. then they will come out tomorrow and I was told I would have a little more mobility. A little more mobility would help me deal with this other crisis that I didn’t forsee….
I can’t eat anything I can’t carry in my mouth or stand up and eat.Because I can’t put my foot down I need BOTH crutches. You can’t THROW a plate of hot food across the room towards the couch. I considered this some when people were asking me what I needed but lots of people assumed I was just being “neurotic,” you know, one of those “health nuts” when I was asking for dinner for my family and bananas for myself. And while it’s true I am a former anorexic and it is not difficult to fall back into that lifestyle, it is also true that I have been praying like crazy for my weight to NEVER triumph my health and healing EVER AGAIN. I posted an article on my a Facebook page yesterday about keeping weight off while injured and I have been successful. It’s not because I starve myself. It’s because I don’t eat like I do when I’m working out. And I’m resting more. And I say “no” when others want me to say “yes.”
While I have appreciated the offers for cookies, cake and cupcakes, I have also battled emotional eating. When I was having a pity party Tuesday, the LAST thing I wanted was to be soothed with sugar. It’s always been my cop-out. And sitting here, inactive, downing Oreo’s (yes, they are vegan) just don’t do me any good….in any type of way.
I need people to trust that I know what’s best for me. If you want to help and I ask for water, there is a reason and I don’t want Pepsi. 🙂 And if you offer to help, know that I am vegan and it will be something along those lines. That’s not being snobbish. That’s being who I’ve been for the past decade. And if you know me, you know I’ve learned the art of carrying lots of fruits, nuts and Chia Bars in one cup. 🙂
This process is challenging in so many personal, professional and private ways. But I’m quietly putting the pieces together. Life is just going to get better and better. And my right leg and teeth are going to be super strong! 🙂
What are your favorite quick snacks? What would you want to have plenty of if you were chillaxing for six weeks?