Well, if I had to sum up the entire surgery process in one word, it would definitely be OUCH!!!! And I mean that from a physical and mental standpoint. What a challenge this has been. And I only have five and a half weeks left. 🙂
The surgery itself was smooth. Everyone at the Madison Surgery Center was super nice and professional. My first nurse asked who was doing my surgery and when I told her it was Dr. Martens, a huge smile came over her face. She told me he had just fixed her up a few months earlier and she felt amazing! It was just what I needed to relax. I had not slept much the days leading up to the surgery (probably had to do with the fact that I was working all the way up until an hour and a half before) and I was setting to face the reality of not being able to do what I love, at least for a little while. I was concerned about my husband having to sit in the lobby, alone, again during another one of my surgeries and when they brought him back, he told me my in-laws had shown up to come be with him. I was finally able to do what I had not done in a long time: let my guards down. Our friend was bringing our little one to us after school, the big one had a key and friends had promised to take care of dinner. I had prayed until I had run out of words. I began to drift off to sleep long before anesthesia and a visit from my doctor. When the nurse told me she was giving me something to relax I just said, “ok.” I remember heading towards the operating room. When I woke up, my husband was sitting there, my leg was wrapped, my daughter was in the lobby with her grandparents and I was ready to begin the real work.
What I am physically having the hardest time with is these dumb crutches. They hurt my arms and just slow down my progress. 🙂 However, it only took one time of me accidentally touching my foot down to the ground (too much independence) to realize that I would rather be inconvenienced than feel pain like that. Going to the bathroom is like a field trip and sleeping (had to switch sides of the bed. And you know how traumatic that can be). But it’s the DREAMS I’ve been having that have been the most life changing. It COULD be the medicine but…..well, I’ll take it. 🙂
I’ve been angry/hurt/frustrated/confused through this ordeal as I couldn’t believe how people I would die for wouldn’t even so much as send me a text and ask if I was o.k. It has been very sobering. But, in my sleep, I have been fellowshipping with the VERY SAME people I have felt a hardened heart towards during this process and life in general. I wake up amazed and thankful, go through the day and then dream of someone different the next time. Wow. Just wow.
I knew this was an opportunity for me to stop. I knew I was burned out long before anyone else did. I understand process. And I understand all of the advice I give to my own clients. 🙂 But I am amazed, constantly, at how God works.
And so I sit, leg propped up, tea in hand, crutches nearby and heart softened. This is all about me and not what others choose to do/not do. What am I going to do with what I have been given? And how can I remain open in that to myself and others?
Have you had surgery before? What was the most challenging part of your recovery? The most surprising?