Here it is, August 1st and I keep thinking about all of the “deadlines” and “fitness challenges” I issued myself that I didn’t keep. The first few that come to mind are my birthday, my class reunion, the first day of summer, my neighbor’s birthday….
O.K….yes, I am being funny now but you know what I mean. We set up all of these “end points” and we never BEGIN. We spend a lot of time coaching ourselves out of it instead of coaching ourselves into it. I will confess, I have spent A LOT of time this year, secretly depressed. Losing two friends, both in their thirties, was devastating (not to mention the other deaths in between). It made me face my own mortality. It made me think about how fragile life was, how close I could be to taking my last breath. Instead of making me work harder, it made me scared to death. I’d be all geared up ready to live my best life and BAM! I’d be on my back, in the bed, in the dark, crying and unable to get up and do anything but stumble into my car and dry my eyes quick enough to make it into the gym. I just admitted to my son yesterday that there were days that I got dressed not even knowing what day of the week it was. Sometimes I didn’t even know what time it was. I was living in routine.
And that’s not to say that devastation like that and depression is NOT real because it is. But the truth is, my mind wasn’t right all along. I had gotten “comfortable.” I started to think, “I look good to have had three babies, a hysterectomy and to have gotten 80-90 pounds off twice.” And then the next day I’d be standing in the mirror wanting to grab a pair of scissors and perform my own tummy tuck. It was a back and forth love/hate relationship with my body when the truth was….
I wasn’t putting in the WORK. I was just avoiding the WORK…and WHY was I avoiding the WORK? Because I KNOW what kind of results the WORK produces……
In today’s society of quick fixes, work sucks. But, surprisingly, I LIKE work….when I can get my MIND right. And you know where my mind was stuck….on OLD programming. Anytime I am stressed, I fall back into default EVERYTHING. I’ll either eat (that’s how I got to be over 200 lbs.), I won’t eat (anorexia), I’ll criticize myself (low self-esteem) and withdraw from everyone (introvert). Those beliefs tell me I CAN’T do it and my body cooperates.
Where’s YOUR mind? Because I believe (and all of that money I owe the government for two degrees in sociology/psychology/counseling back me up) when we change our thought processes, we change our lives. We are who we THINK we are. Our thoughts become things.
1) If we can identify it, we are aware and we can begin to re-program.
2) We must become aware of the people/places/things that trigger us to return to our default programming and decide if they are worth the risk. Sometimes Just being around certain people or things take me there. And there are days when I am feeling “fragile” that I just need to stay out of that space.
3) We must feed our minds with the RIGHT thoughts until our thoughts become our new processes. Where do you seek your inspiration? I have found it necessary to find a new support system. I read books, blogs and posts from people who are uplifting who are where I want to be. And I keep my Bible in my car, on my phone, on my Ipod and Ipad. 🙂
4) Processes mean “action.” Words aren’t enough. One step of action is better than twenty pages of written action plans with no movement forward. What’s your FIRST step? Fear is paralyzing. I feel you on that one. However, making that first step and feeling successful, no matter how small it is will give you the confidence to keep moving forward. Just go.
5) Be gentle with yourself. Know that there will be up and down days and as long as you are committed to yourself, you will continue to get up and try again. There is a discipline with this as it is with everything. If the change is worth it to you, the discipline will come.
The question is “how bad do you want it?
And MY answer is, “You have no idea.”