I do not get to turn it on and off. I don’t get to pause when I don’t feel like it. I don’t get to go on vacation and forget it exists. I don’t get to weigh it against getting my hair done or getting a new dress or kicking it at happy hour.
Well, I could if I wanted to but I know what awaits me on the other side. Been there done that. Besides. it’s how I make my money. But because everyone isn’t like me and fitness/health IS optional, the fitness profession isn’t a stable business. Today I could have twenty five clients. Tomorrow, I could have five. It’s the chance you take and it’s a risky one. Because it has nothing to do with being good.
You know what being good does? It gets me into the spotlight for people to “desire” to want to work with me or take my classes. It doesn’t mean that people want to do the work or pay me for the work I do. I’m rolling in the spotlight these days. I was just featured as the profile of the week in the Under Armour’s What’s Beautiful Campaign. I am going to be traveling to two fitness conferences in the next two weeks. (One of them where I first met Viveca Jensen, the founder of Piloxing as an assistant to the conference. Now I will be helping to REPRESENT Piloxing. Sorry for the caps but that’s a big deal to me.) I will be traveling doing master classes and taking new classes/certifications. And I am bold enough to be doing a campaign to raise $5000 for the chance of a lifetime to increase my reach. And those are just the highlights. But being good doesn’t keep me in this game. Because, believe me, for every praise there is a criticism. You have to learn to be unmoved by either.
So WHY do I stay, knowing my money is unstable, people are fickle, my hair is messed up all of the time, my legs hurt, I am always doing more than I get paid for, I am always way too busy, I can never make everyone I serve happy all of the time and I still haven’t lost these last few pounds?
Because this is my life. And what I believe in I don’t surrender. For ANY reason. My goals, my destiny are not determined by any person, place or thing. Welcome to a new day in my life, where I stop complaining about what I wish existed and rock out what I have been given. Being “hip” isn’t about being “cool.” It’s about being in touch. It’s about knowing what’s out there and knowing what’s real. And there is nothing more real than being the depressed, suicidal girl who used to weigh 232 pounds and remembering what that felt like. Because as long as I remember, I am sympathetic and everything I mentioned above doesn’t matter.
I am ’bout that life.