For someone like me who had the mind of a twenty-five year old when I was six, “growing up” was one of
those things I never thought I’d have to do. I thought I had it down to a science, well, except that height thing. I’m still not sure how I managed to be the shortest sibling AND the shortest person in the house overall. (And, if you’ve seen my children then you know my daughter will surpass me in about a year and I will be the shortest person in the house AGAIN. But I digress….) I knew when to be quiet. I put myself down for naps. I regulated my own diet (even as a child I used my allowance to buy fruit and vegetables. Weird, I know). I saved money well. I got very good grades.
All of a sudden, I couldn’t think. I didn’t believe I was “smart” enough. While it is always a smart idea to remain humble and ask a lot of questions, I went beyond that and became, well, almost annoying to the point that I would ask anyone who was teaching anything to give me “advice” on how I should do EVERYTHING. I was so confused that I was probably teaching yoga with a step combo pattern. I even gave myself an e-mail address (you know “fitnessbaby”) because I felt like I was the toddler among the group. And it wasn’t just because I was the rookie. It was because I was scared to do anything I didn’t think I could do.
The first time I went ALL OUT at a fitness event (and I am still not sure I went “all out”) was at a Les Mills
Quarterly when my boss at the time asked me to come and preview a class she wanted to bring to the gym. What I didn’t know was that “Quarterly” was a word fitness instructors affectionately used for “8 hours of hell.” That day, I did Body Attack, Body Combat, Body Pump, Body Flow and Body Jam. And my body died. I literally broke out in hives and got diagnosed with exercise induced asthma after that. (Keep in mind. I was a YOGA teacher.) I was so scared and embarrassed that I shied away from everything that would ever make me look like an idiot standing next to my super fit co-workers again. And that followed me.
And super fit people follow me everywhere I go. I am surrounded by people who teach hard core classes up until hours before they have children. Christy Scott (God bless her. Remember I did a post about her? Read it here) just ran a 100 mile race and couldn’t fall asleep the entire time. The What’s Beautiful Campaign with Under Armour that I am participating through FitFluential (if you are local, have you joined “Team Huntsville? Click here) is full of fascinating and athletic women. And what does that mean to me?
It means that hiding behind the fact that I couldn’t do it before doesn’t mean that if it’s a goal I have that I cannot reach for it now. It means growing up. It means going past the stages of just doing the minimum. There comes a time when you stretch your skills past addition and subtraction. It’s the natural progression.
What does that mean for me? It means going beyond my comfort zone and reaching for new skills. Last year around this time, I signed up for a half marathon (and I had never really run longer than, oh a 5K before) and three mud races (which included the Warrior Dash and I did them all in a time span of three weeks). I’m not feeling that this year but I know that it’s time to kick up
this game. I’m searching for opportunities that excite ME, not my friends and things that PUSH me to think differently, train differently, and be different because of the experience.