The first time I ever heard of IntenSati was back in January, 2010. I received the DVD as part of my welcoming package for enrolling at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition (which you should totally consider). Now, I am all for positive affirmations and exercise but together? Lady, are you serious? I thought the instructor, Patricia Moreno, was the cutest thing ever but, well, I’m a skeptic. I was only a few months out of knee surgery and it looked like they were working harder than I wanted to for it to be a “mind body workout.” They were sweating. I was depressed. It just wasn’t a great combination. I put the DVD away. But the thought of the class kept swirling through my head.
I checked to see if anyone around me was teaching it.
Yeah, I know. I live in Alabama. 🙂
I met another girl who was a graduate of IIN who was an instructor and she said she loved it. I looked into the certification. At the time, I just couldn’t afford it. I was drowning in debt from chasing dreams. I had to surrender something. And, if it were meant for me to cross paths with toning my thoughts and my thighs simultaneously then, so be it.
And then I went to New York in March.
I chose not to check out the speaker’s list for the IIN conference on purpose. I wanted to be amazed. I had already heard Deepak Chopra, Mark Hyman, Geneen Roth, David Wolfe. I mean, really? Could it have gotten any better? And then I heard them say, “Patricia Moreno.” I was pretty much in an open space all weekend so I was willing to try to say these affirmations. Out loud. Next to people I knew. Who could judge me. While I was going through something. Some real stuff. Patricia came out like a big burst of sunshine and, until even now, I SWEAR she was staring directly at me the entire time. I don’t know if this is ego or if I really felt a connection with her. Either way, it led me to track (the politically correct term for “stalk”) her in the hallway. I think I gave her my entire resume. I told her I HAD to teach IntenSati. She told me to get in contact with her. She gave me a wrist band. When I got home, I sent her an inbox message, like I have done with so many other “fitness gurus.”
She actually messaged me back.
And because she cared, I took a dare and got myself to Philadelphia on GRACE and MERCY (I won’t disclose the details but it was truly an act of God that got me connected to this program). I spent two days fighting the urge to want to make IntenSati something it wasn’t. I had to face my deepest fears of feeling
inadequate and overweight and unprepared and not in in the clique and basically all of the things I have used in the past to separate me when I am just plain scared. My mind was trying to handle other challenges in my life. My body LITERALLY shut down from lack of proper food and sleep for several days. And, yet, I found the strength to make it through pieces I didn’t think I could do. I thought I was going to die Sunday because I felt so horribly ill but I was going to go out like a warrior. I am NOT suggesting that you ignore when your body is saying STOP (and I had to honor that) but what I am saying is that, at my weakness point, mentally AND physically, I had to dig for something greater. It wasn’t going to come when I was a size 2. It wasn’t going to come when I had more certifications. It wasn’t going to come when my choreography was perfect, when more people liked me, when I was over my drama. I was strong RIGHT IN THAT MOMENT. I always have been.
It comes the minute you acknowledge it.
Look for classes soon. There were no classes in Alabama but there will be now. 🙂