O.K., let me go ahead and say at the beginning, people thinking my teenage son and I are brother and sister is a
pretty cool (and egotistical) reason to pump some weights. But, hey, it has kept me in the gym many of days.
Remembering the days when I was out of breath, dragging him and a car seat and my book bag and a purse and grocery up a flight of stairs while not being able to breathe has done the same.
Remembering the vision of seeing my father unconscious with tubes up his nose and tape all across his chest after a triple bypass has done it. Listening to the medications my mother has to take has done it.
Glancing across the table at a family dinner (bodies and food) has done it.
My children wanting to jump on my back and have me carry them through the house (yes, my children are fifteen and nine, 6 ft. and almost 5ft. and I am 5ft. 5 inches and yes, my son is heavier than me) has done it.
Wanting to be able to do what I have been called to do….that’s why I work out.
I work out because eating disorders, depression and anti-depressants, pain killers, bad relationships, co-dependency and careless behavior could have killed me. And those are just a few. I realized that
working out for “me”, when I began to view not as a “chore” nor an “obsession” became a place where I could indeed surrender the thought that I wasn’t powerful enough to take control of my own life. Every struggle I had was I was blaming someone else. For EVERYTHING. Let me be clear. My life has NOT be easy. I have had more than my share of struggles. And I am sure you have too. We all have. But I had to decide if I was willing to step out of those spaces and see my part in my own oppression. The drama was more appealing than the healing so I stayed there, powerless. I taught fitness to “other people” and didn’t take in the benefits because it was what I did “for a living.”
Now I do it to LIVE. I want to LIVE.
Piloxing is what I love. Zumba is what I love. Yoga is what I love. Those are things I do. Those are the things I teach. Lifting weights is what I love. And because I love it so much, there is a natural energy that comes along with it. I told my class yesterday that I didn’t need a pre-workout supplement. My pre-workout supplement was water and a leg workout. 🙂 My energy was there because I know what will happen if I don’t put it there.
I have my days. But, as my dad says, if I wake up breathing, then I can take it from there. 🙂 Sharing love and hope through fitness is my life’s mission. Even when I don’t want to, I roll out of bed and hit the door. That mission is bigger than my resistance or desire to sleep late. 🙂
Why do you work out?