Here we are.
First Monday of the year….the “official” start over day.
For me, it has a lot of meaning. I am not sure if I need to start over. Or just start. Or quit. Life has gotten REALLY real in the first six days of this year. My friend lost his precious 13 year old daughter on January 1st. A fellow dancer from the salsa community died the same day. Of the same thing. I had no voice January 1st. I was sick. My husband washed clothes on the 1st, going against what my grandmother said about washing somebody out of the family. (O.K. I know but I’m just saying….he could have waited.) Tension is high in places that caught me by surprise. The stakes are high where my career is concerned. My favorite protein powder hasn’t went on sale.
Today is also exactly six months from my thirty-eight birthday which is 7/7. And it’s been six weeks since I started working with a trainer. Both of those things are looming in my brain because, well, I feel like I’ve done a disservice to both. I haven’t stuck to my training 100% for several reasons (being sick, sick kid, sick husband, bad knees, bad attitude, time management issues, not being able to say no, headaches, too many calories, not enough calories….you know, the usual stuff) and I have been feeling frustrated because, well, I am ready to be cut up, buff and looking like a Pinterest Pin by now. I am seven pounds away from my goal weight.
And with my hurting body, full schedule and wavering attitude, I’m ready to get this thing done. Riding the fence hurts. I’m ready to jump all the way across and STAY there.
I have already talked about my goals: get my body fat down, run an 8 minute mile, blah, blah, blah. But it has to be BIGGER than that. I am thinking harder about what I wear, what I listen to, where I work out, where I am spending my time. I am on a mission to listen to what works for ME and MY BODY. Making a goal to run a half marathon in 1:45 is insane….for me. I haven’t even convinced myself I enjoyed running it in 2:35. 🙂
My REAL goal is to stay present in the process. I like to skip over stuff. I want the quick win. I want the five pound weight loss because I drank two protein shakes today. I hear you. I totally get it. I also know, like you know that we can wish for that ALL DAY LONG and it isn’t going to work. I have been working on my vision board, working in my journal, spending money on things that support my process (that aren’t just cute because, well, I get easily caught up), eliminating things/people from my space and my diet, working hard on honoring my time and playing Ruzzle. (It stimulates my mind. Hey, I need a fitness break sometimes…..) I will stay present in my workouts, not skip over anything because I am ready to be done, not talk myself into going to Starbucks and nursing my emotions instead of pushing that incline on the treadmill, keep my food on track and on schedule (have you ever had an encounter with me when I hadn’t eaten? Not pretty.) I will dedicate the next six months to my overall health so that I meet 38 years old not feeling like I am 38. I will meet it in the best shape (physically, mentally, spiritually, financially) of my life. And I am ready to go…
Right after I have me some Chipotle and carrot cake.
No, I’m just kidding. Well, sort of……
No, seriously, I am ready to go. I don’t need to have a memorial for any type of food because I am not “walking away” from anything. I am walking into my new era.
Goal, New Life, here I come!