- 2002 (yeah, I know that’s ten. Stay with me.) I gave up my career, my friends, my city, my life as I knew it to marry him. He was an engineer. He lived in a house. He loved my child. I had just lost forty pounds. Life was looking up.
- 2003 A major child custody issue with my son that would change our lives. I get pregnant. We move into our house that we have built from the ground. My son starts kindergarten. We start to start see problems. Our daughter is born and I have gained forty six pounds. The anorexia starts again.
- 2004 (Here we go….) I get help for my anorexia. I shed the weight the healthy way. I enroll in massage therapy school. My son is getting help. My husband gets a new better paying job. I start working at an herb and vitamin store. I get in a car accident. My husband is fired. We lose our house. I have to drop out of school. I have to quit my job. We move to another city where I don’t know anyone but my husband’s family. I join a local gym and decide to take a job there for minimum wage so I can pay for my daughter to go to day care three days a week. Then I decided that, maybe…..maybe I had been set up for this…….
It isn’t just the end of the year. It’s the end of an era. It’s the end of wishing I could be “that girl.” I AM her. And I am ready to move the next phase.
The big picture is that I am not reaching for someone else’s life anymore. I have some goals I want to reach. I want to be better. I want to lift heavier weights. I want my quads to pop out when I wear shorts in a smaller size this summer. I want to get better with tithing and praying. I want to be a better wife and mother. I want to teach better classes. I want to be a better trainer. I want to run faster and I want to eat better. I want to see more places. I want to be more still, more often.
I am not making “resolutions” because the calendar is changing. I am resolving to be o.k. with my success and to be o.k. with the fact that I have a ways to go and to be content with knowing that I will be o.k. no matter what.
Wishing you and yours the best New Era ever!