Two and half months ago, I taught a very emotional ninety minute Zumba fundraiser for the Miles Blackwell Foundation, I am not sure I have ever taught a class that hard. I went home and showered, hopped a plane to Ohio and, the very next day, completed the Warrior Dash (rock on, FitFluential and Reebok who sponsored me for this event). I flew home, still muddy, jumped in the shower, dragged myself to the urgent care clinic and found out I had pneumonia. Yeah. I don’t recommend that. I said all of that to say I am accustomed to performing under pressure. I have taught with a torn meniscus (for weeks), cysts break dancing on my ovaries, bronchitis, bad attitudes and have even gotten off the table at an urgent care clinic and went straight to gym. I have been teaching (and running and everything else) for two years with tendinitis in my Achilles. WHY is my body breaking down only a few days before this half marathon?
I sat in the parking lot of the gym Monday night before Zumba (of course I was going to teach) with an ice pack over my mysteriously swollen knee. My hamstring felt like it had two golf balls in it. I had went to Bikram Yoga the day before and felt great. Did I mention my heel was on fire and all of a sudden, I started to feel as if I had plantar fasciitis? Seriously? Is this my mind (because I still think I am crazy for trying to run 13 miles) or is my body saying STOP? I don’t know. I pulled out my Foam Roller App (made by Solid Jade, created by Dr. Ryan Emmons which you should REALLY try because it is so comprehensive with multiple levels and videos and taught me things I didn’t know and helped me get RIGHT into the spots I needed at my level) and spent twenty or so minutes rolling out my hamstring, heel and calf. Wish I could tell you it felt good but……
I do not have an ego in this (I’ve never ran a half marathon so this WILL be my “personal best”), I am running it alone (my partner had to withdraw because of the death of a loved one), my cousins are coming in town and it’s my uncle’s birthday (he doesn’t even live here but can you tell I am reaching for stuff?) so I could totally stay at home on Saturday and be o.k. with it. Physically. But, facing my fear (what will people who know me say if they see me walking? what if I run out of breath? catch a cramp? can’t finish? *gasp*) is my major hurdle. I am very afraid. I’ve never done anything like this. If this were a Zumba marathon and someone told me to shimmy for 13.1 miles, I would totally have this on lock. But it’s not. And I don’t. I have to face the fact that I am entering new territory with stuff on mind, stuff happening in my body and no Michael Jackson in my ear to drown out the noise. It’s me against me on that road.
Tonight, after I teach Piloxing, I am going to soak, pull out my app and my foam roller and go at it again. A few miles tomorrow and Friday to loosen up and a lot of prayer.
I can do this.