I know I am sick right now because what I hold to be very true became optional.
Food became something I “did.” It was an inconvenience. There are days I can honestly say I was tired of chewing. Or tired to chew. I went to bed without dinner plenty of nights in the past couple of weeks (easy to do in a house full of meat eaters….nobody notices.) Being vegan suddenly became an “issue” to my real life so instead of maintaining my weekly produce visits and my morning packings of fruits and veggies of the day, I relied heavily on protein shakes, Chipotle, Starbucks and any other little vegan loophole I could find to not have to face my laziness. While, too most, this may seem very “not a big deal”, the day I realized I had went an entire day without ONE PIECE OF PRODUCE was the day I knew whatever was going on had to stop.
And I woke up the very next morning, extremely sick.
I am definitely in a time in my life where I am on a battlefield. My children have transitioned back into school. My son’s football team has more requirements/agreements/emails/commitments than my business. My daughter’s after school activities have picked up again. My clients have shifted schedules for the fall. Some have stopped training. Some have just disappeared. Some want to train more. I have started traveling more. I am concerned about my parents and their health. And those are just the highlights. In the middle of that has been a wounded warrior, struggling to keep her head above water, looking for a way to be a part of her own life, receiving as much attention as she gives to other things/people. I failed. Miserably. But a wounded warrior (and one with congestion in her chest) can still get up and fight. And run. And climb walls. And jump over fire. Because doing this Warrior Dash has me thinking about my life and my fight and what I have left in me and what I am willing to pull out and do away with and how to come back to standing strong in the MIDDLE of the battlefield because, well, that’s what warriors do. We fight when there is war.
As for my diet, the first thing I realized was that I was not hydrated at all. I have a really bad habit of “forgetting” my water bottle, losing my water bottle, not finishing my water bottle, not wanting to be bothered with my water bottle, mad because I have to drink water period when I really want juice. I had to basically get over it. I can really tell the difference, energy wise mostly and a major decrease in my headaches. The second thing was that I had to MAKE myself keep my weekly Tuesday appointments with Garden Cove, my favorite place in Huntsville to buy produce. When I am not there at my regular time or I am late or absent, the owners, the cashiers, the stock people will ask me where I’ve been or make reference to my absence. That means I KNOW I can be consistent. If I can push myself to teach three cardio classes this week with my lungs on fire then SURELY I can get in the car for a few extra minutes and get my goods. The third thing was that I had stopped eating fruit for breakfast unless I put it in my smoothie which I rarely had time to make. I started making sure I didn’t run out (and making multiple trips to the store a week if I had to) and packing it at night so I can grab it when I leave out really early in the morning. When my kids (who really like fruit) see me eat more of it, they eat more of it. When it is readily available, they just grab it. (My daughter just came in while I was typing and asked for the oranges I had cut up for tomorrow. I will just cut more. Easily accessible for small hands.) The fourth thing I did was realized I stopped eating salads. Maybe it’s just a phase. I have just started having veggies around that I can steam or cook easily (discovered roasted brussel sprouts this summer) or just eat raw (my favorites being cucumbers and tomatoes.) Last night, I just juiced a bunch of stuff (green leaf lettuce, few pieces of pineapple, huge hunk of ginger, cucumber, green apple and lemon) and it was great. The fifth thing I did was went back to drinking my hot water and lemon in the morning to help with my screwed up system, a direct result of my screwed up attitude.
I do not claim to be the perfect eater. I am perfectly honestly though. It takes commitment to stay on track. I am not the fastest or the strongest person in the world. or even in Alabama or even in my house but I WILL complete this Warrior Dash with a sense of pride because I know what I have had to do for it. And I am so thankful for the opportunity to fight for my inner Warrior again.