When I looked at my phone and saw that it was my husband calling at 10:00 A.M., I knew either someone was dead or I was going to want to kill someone after I was done talking to him. The latter was true. I was pulling up into Earth Fare in between the hurricane that has now become my life to get a smoothie so I could push myself through this Zumba class and final client of the morning so I could get through my evening rush. I had just trained about 5,000 people and managed to swim in the deep end without drowning and just a minor panic attack and I just wasn’t in the mood. But he opened his mouth. Out came the words about a possible “business trip” which I had five days to prepare for that would put him out of town for eight days while I tried to change my ENTIRE schedule (did I mention I was self employed with two children who have to be in two different places at two different times and I haven’t even breakfast at my own house in weeks?) and wanted to know how I felt about it. I honestly asked him if I was on candid camera. After I got through screaming in the phone about how his job could care less about my life and I was fine as long as they provided me with a baby sitter, a chauffeur and some money to make up for all of my income I would lose, I hit the wall that so many women I meet face on a constant basis.
I work with women EVERY DAY who face this sort of dilemma constantly. We are basically asked to “get with the program” and give up anything that stands in the way of us holding the world up. The truth of the matter that “holding” makes us tired and we don’t have the energy to reach inside and find ANYTHING for ourselves. It is very true that we adapt (and the truth is I have no idea whether he is going out of town or not. I think he found it smart to just not talk to me for a while. Maybe a few hours…or even a few days) and, if I had to (because we are rarely given an option), I would make it work. And, while I would probably be saying not so nice words under my breath, I know what I have to do to keep myself in check. But so many don’t. The cape goes on and we fly away into Never Neverland where OUR health and happiness don’t exist. It’s no longer a factor. It’s not important. And it IS. IT IS. IT IS. IT IS.
Complaining about a situation doesn’t make it better. Learning to find ways to handle yourself in it makes you a critical thinker and, if you are really sharp with it, can put you ahead in your fitness game. Learning to handle “unknowns” will help you learn to plan and be better prepared when life is at a steady flow. If I had to operate alone and run my children all over the continent, I have to “schedule” my runs and my swim lessons around their schedule and my work schedule. NOT doing it is NOT an option because I am NOT a happy person when I don’t work out. Yes, it would be easy to say, “I’m tired and I need to take care of the kids.” Well, the truth of the matter is if I can’t take care of myself, I can’t do anything for them. There is no need for me to spend three hours on dinner when I can cook a healthy one in thirty, work out for thirty, read for thirty, get clothes and lunches together and spend time with them. We actually “like” feeling needed and we USE that cape as a COVER sometimes to keep us from doing what we need to do.
Yes, it is inconvenient. So is being overweight and complaining about it. I will get my grocery shopping done before he leaves, get a good nap in before his flight, give my kids “the talk”, arrange travel, adjust clients, pray for endurance, put my cape on and have at it. I can be a slim superwoman. When you are determined, NOTHING can stop you. Be willing to go there and see what you find out about yourself. You are stronger than you think. It’s still not fair but such is life. Live it to the fullest.