I did keep my word about not getting on the scale for sixty days. On the morning of my birthday, as promised, with the anticipation of the end of the world, I stepped on the scale. Every since I got back from Miami, my body hasn’t been right. I haven’t been hungry. I’ve missed a few classes because of that vacation and the holiday. It’s been hot. I’ve been tired. I haven’t slept well. My digestion has been off. I have done too much running around. I’m stressed. And ALL of these conversations occurred in the time span of me opening up the closet door and pulling out the scale. I took a big girl breath (I mean, I had just turned 37) and got on the scale. No real change. But I started thinking. And hard. I needed to lose ten pounds to be where I wanted to be. I put the scale up and got dressed. Off to boot camp I went. My body anyway. My mind was stuck. Why did I do that?
Every since that day, I have been having this on and off affair with the scale like I did before. Did I not learn ANYTHING? I was burning up the Arc Trainer on Monday and eating lightly (but well) and feeling good about my jump start into my goals. And then it happened.
I hopped my happy butt on the scale this morning, looking for validation and what in the ??????? I had gained two pounds. Are you serious? Was this some type of joke? It was 5:00 a.m. and too early to scream and throw a tantrum but I wanted to throw my tennis shoe across the bathroom. But WHY was I mad? Truthfully, I know when I do too much cardio, I swell up. I had not used the bathroom (T.M.I.) and I KNOW that the scale is not a true representation of my progress. But I did it anyway. What the ???????
Do you do that too?
I felt like I had just stuck a dagger in my own heart. I was doing well and I let a piece of tin kill my joy. Let me let you in on a little secret: THAT THING HAS NO POWER BUT WHAT YOU GIVE IT!!!!!!!! And I am putting my power in this new pair of running shoes I bought because I am on a mission and I don’t hardly have time to entertain such thoughts. I am going to keep up with my Vega Protein and products (that I need to order. I would have time to do that if I stayed off that scale). I am going to keep my excuses to a minimum, my need for validation low (did that thing not say I burned 711 calories the other morning?) and my head on straight because I define my own journey and how I feel about it and myself.
Are you addicted to the scale? What will it take for you to step away?