If you’ve ever met my daughter (and she is not NEARLY that small anymore…I just like to think of her that way) then you know, for sure, she is not shy. She meets no strangers. Sometimes I think she is really a twenty five year old living in an eight year old’s body. However, like most children, she has child like habits. One of them (which Mommy is working HARD on her patience with) is whining and talking low. There is NOTHING quiet about that girl. I can hear her talking from three miles away when she is telling her brother what to do or excitedly repeating the events of the day, you know the part she enjoyed. However, when she is being disciplined, corrected or wants something (Chick Fil-A, clothes from Justice or attention), she goes into this whole “act.” And that “act” gets her nowhere.
And it gets you nowhere either.
We have just become a society of people who want what they want when they want it without working for it. That may work, for some, but it’s temporary for most. I am quick to tell my children it didn’t work in MY house growing up and I wish another child would approach me with another $1300 Christmas list without straight A’s and a job. And I am quick to tell my clients (current and prospective) that if you want magic when you look under the tree (i.e. the scale) then you have to EARN everything you open. There is no magic in what I do because I can only do my part. I can work you to death three times a week for forty five minutes (and many would swear I have come close) but what are you doing the rest of the week? You’re bold and strong about your desires. You want to lose fifty pounds. Have a butt like J. Lo. Abs like Janet. But when asked what you are willing to do for it, everybody starts talking low or whining about how the days aren’t long enough and you had to work 1,000 hours this week because you needed to be off for two Fridays in a row to do girl’s day with your friends and you hurt your toe while you were out shopping and you just don’t feel good because you ate too much at the buffet and you didn’t sleep because you were reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy……
Use your big girl voice. Own up to what’s really going on. Now is NOT the time to back away. You have to be able to hear what it is that you are saying.
The “whine” and “quiet voice” is about playing pretend as if you didn’t know what you had done and seeking sympathy. I used to think it was about shame until I realized I was doing it myself. I was trying to get someone not to convict me because I knew I was up and down wrong. If I played meek then they would back up off of me. Well, in the weight loss arena, having someone “back up off of you” just means that when you finally turn your face to the mirror instead of your back and realize you’ve gained another twenty pounds, you won’t be whispering. You’ll be screaming…”how did this happen?” And then the whispers will play themselves back. On repeat.
I said it a couple of weeks ago and I’ll say it again because this one statement changed my entire life.
“You can’t be pitiful AND powerful.”
USE YOUR BIG GIRL VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!