Your Face or Your Back

There is no greater joy than when a client “gets it.”

And I will guarantee you, although I use EVERYTHING (push ups, walking stairs, warm ups) as teaching moments, their revelations usually occur when they are sharing with friends and family about their journey.  They do not realize how empowered they have become until they hear the words come out of their own mouths.

Last week, a client was sharing with me how, as she was discussing with a friend her “formula” for losing a tremendous amount of weight, she mentioned the traditional things that people are used to hearing like “I changed my eating habits and I work out consistently.”  What her friend probably wasn’t ready for was the statement she made next.  She boldly proclaimed, “I started FACING the STUFF in my life.”  Stuff.  We all have it.  But why are most of us so busy trying to “diet” and “treadmill” our way out of it?  Why are we turning our back to the “stuff” that got us in this position anyway?

I could become a MILLIONAIRE talking about STUFF because I had A LOT of it.  Still have some.  I will go so far as to call myself an expert on it.  I knew how to drag it along, in a designer purse, coordinate it with my wardrobe, how to have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, take it out for a drive, dance with it, sleep and shower with it and choke others with it.  I also knew how to fill my size 24 skirt with it (it was brown). By the time I hit 24, I felt like it was my right to walk around the world with a chip on my shoulder and a cement truck in my rear end because 1) I was getting a divorce, 2) I had a child, 3)I had lost a child, 4) I only had one sibling and didn’t have a good relationship with her, 5) my parents couldn’t afford to get my out of debt with my loans and I was STILL accumulating them while I was in grad school, 6) Vanderbilt didn’t do right with my admission, 7) I grew up in the projects, 8) I was dark-skinned and fat and guys didn’t go for that and I would be single forever because nobody wanted a woman with a child and my ex was off living his life and it was so unfair that he got everything he wanted and if he had just done right…..you get the point.  I was miserable and never took responsibility for my own life.  I worked hard, VERY hard.  I had two jobs, was in grad school and still managed to raise my son but I was so angry that my ONLY response to life’s “troubles” was a filet-o-fish combo with a vanilla shake.

When I thought I was facing my “stuff”, I went the opposite way, I stopped eating and battled my first episode of anorexia.  If I couldn’t be accepted while I was the fat girl, then I’d be the skinny girl.  I’d just be unhealthy as hell and take the chance on hurting myself and not being there for my son or anybody else.  It sounds ridiculous now but how many people do you know personally who are still turning their back on their issues by trying to find the quick fix for what they consider their “physical imperfections” and are STILL the same people mentally and will be the SAME people a year from now looking for another quick fix because it “didn’t take?”

No, THEY didn’t take.  They didn’t take a look in the mirror.

If you want to get behind the REAL reason why you are struggling with your weight, you have to get behind the stories you continually tell yourself.  Whether they are stories of defeat (“you can’t do that”), denial (“you have no right”) or a down right lie (“260 pounds at 5’4 really isn’t THAT big”), there is moment where you have to be willing to set it all down, cut the strings, set fire to it, surrender it, set it free, step away from what you have been allowing to define you.  You are NOT your past.  You are NOT your dress size.  You are a living, breathing being who has the power to walk into a better version of him/herself whenever you are ready. 

Take a good in the mirror.  What do you need to let go to move forward?
Whether you choose to face it or turn your back to it, it is ALWAYS your choice.
Choose wisely.

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