I know you will find this hard to believe but the biggest “problem” I had as a young dancer was that I was always deemed too “wild.” Imagine that. 🙂 My arms were never wear they were supposed to be. I was often unaware of my spacing. However, there was “something” about me that kept getting me on dance teams, in routines and on front lines. I felt the pain of being “ostracized” then; of what seemed like “punishment” or disregard for my hard work. What I didn’t realize then was there was a battle and I was prepared to fight but neither had to occur. I could have benefited from correcting myself if I had known how to hold my own space. I felt like I couldn’t be me and do both. I came upon this lesson again this weekend when I was, of course, dancing.
One of my beloved salsa teaching friends told me that, although I was a great dancer, my “follow back” was too strong and to someone who may not lead strong, it can appear that I am trying to back lead. In non-salsa dancing folks language, I grab on too strong and don’t let folks do what they are supposed to do so I can just enjoy the dance. If I learned to follow what was being laid before me, I could easily be led into my path, gracefully, and things would be easier if I just “let go” a little bit. I hold on because I am scared. I’m scared of being dropped. I’m scared of missing a turn. I’m scared of losing the connection. I am scared that if I don’t I will appear “weak”. And that is just another form of “fear.”
How does all of that connect?
When we are on our paths and there is a moment when we are being corrected, we forcefully fight back instead of using it to enhance where we are going. We hold on because we are afraid we are going to “lose ourselves” in the process. The truth of the matter is learning to let go gives us the opportunity to shed the masks we hide behind and the things in our lives which no longer serve us. When our arms are out of order, we are out of alignment with the “team”; that team being our holistic selves. When one thing is out of whack, it throws our entire unit out of sync. If one thing goes wrong, we lean on our lone mistake as a reason to give it all up. That doesn’t mean that who we are is WRONG. There are things that are naturally in you (because, let me tell you, there were NO salsa classes in my neck of the woods that I know of but there is a authentic rhythm that I have) that will always lead you the right way. Sometimes they just have to be directed. You’re not wrong. You’re human.
Put down the need to fight everything. It shouldn’t be hard (not to be confused with easy). Your journey should flow. You will not necessarily be immune from frustration but when you take everything as an opportunity to take another step forward instead of just side to side, you will find your freedom.
And I am still wild. 🙂