I dislike the word “detox”. Don’t ask me why. It’s sort of like me disliking liver cheese as a child. It’s just one of those “things”. But, as I stood looking over the water while in Long Beach this weekend, I knew I needed to “cleanse”. (And being surrounded by 3,000 people who talked about kombucha, juicing, super foods and abstaining from sugar all weekend SURELY may have influenced me. *smile*)
Let me assure you that even the flare up of my arthritis and re-emergence of my headaches will not send me running for the maple syrup, cayenne pepper and lemon juice. That’s not what I mean. I need something else.
When I get stressed or when I visualize, there is a place that I go into my head that I’ve never seen, for real. It came to me in a dream one night and I always put myself there when I need to calm down. The rocks that I am sitting on in this picture are the rocks in my dreams. Imagine my expression when I saw them. They were symbolic of all the things I had felt this weekend. I had many conversations and saw many things that told me I was where I needed to be BUT I couldn’t see them because I was filling my space with too much other stuff. Most of the weekend, I felt “in the flow” and was going with the flow. I walked to lunch and Starbucks (don’t judge me) under the palm trees, I ate cake and drank a margarita (ummm, yes, I did), I went to the beach when I was supposed to be in class and I gave up my V.I.P seating to sit in the balcony and ended up meeting a great group of people, including a girl whom I had been exchanging tweets with the entire weekend.
So, WHAT does that have to do with cleansing?
I need a break from what I think is correct.
I am not suggesting you go out and eat sweets, drink alcohol and have a breakthrough. What I am suggesting is that you look at the rigidity of your space and see if everything you deem yourself to be is keeping you from “being”. Can you not lose weight because EVERY WAKING MOMENT of your life is about you losing weight? You can count Weight Watchers points all day long but if you are not really a part of the process (like knowing the quality of the six points you ate) then someone else is still in control and you are only eating to fill a quota and you will spend the rest of the day thinking about how many points you have to spare. See what I mean?
When I say cleanse, I mean there are some things that I need to eliminate in order to make space for LIVING. It’s sort of like not being able to work in my office because it is crowded with books I do not have time to read. We are full of stuff that we think is meaningful until we have the opportunity to be without it and then we can rebuild. Isn’t that what “cleansing” or, if you prefer, “detoxing” is supposed to be about anyway?
I believe that my food is a part of my overall aura and energy so there ARE some changes I am going to make with that as an “accompaniment” to my cleanse (not weight loss, part of the process) but I am in search of something bigger. I am clearing my slate. Surrendering. Go with the flow. Opening up to what is. What has been is riding my back and it hurts. A change is gonna come.
Wanna join me? Details coming soon.