I am a person who has been known to quit. I don’t necessarily like hard work. I don’t necessarily like adversity. I easily fold under pressure. Sort of. It sounds sort of crazy, right? Especially if you know me.
But do you ever really know what a person is going through and what a person has to fight/battle/struggle EVERY SINGLE DAY to get to the place they are when you see them?
Merely deciding to run until you finish and not being concerned about how fast you get there.
We are basically addicted to speed. If I can’t lose ten pounds in ten days, then your method doesn’t work. I know that kind of thinking. It is the kind of thinking that brings me back to square one more than I would like to acknowledge. There are times that I, well, just don’t want to do it. I get tired of working hard. Sometimes I want to just sit on my butt and receive the benefits of something. Why can’t I be healthy and fit without sweating out my hair and needing BioFreeze the next day? Why isn’t there some pill I can secretly take and just show up one day without stretch marks or love handles, look Janet Jackson ready and be done with it?
Because that’s not my race.
My race is to move slow enough for people to stop and join in, ask questions, feel like I am moving at a pace that they can keep up and not feel intimidated, allow me to have enough breath to keep them encourage and draw us all closer to our next race where some of us will continue together and some of us will separate into other races No matter how tired I get, even if I have to walk, crawl, sit on the side for a minute and re-check the route, I FINISH what I start. You cannot get from point A to point B just “thinking” about it. That’s not just weight loss. That’s life.
When I get up in the morning, I hear the “mind chatter” just like some of you. There are plenty of days when cake sounds better than an apple for breakfast with my oatmeal and a pumpkin spice latte would warm me more than my green tea. I have my days when I look in the mirror and think “God, shouldn’t I have lost like another 5,000 pounds by now?” and I have my days when I just don’t want to get out of bed because I am emotionally and/or physically drained, I’m pissed off, I didn’t get enough sleep, it’s cold, it’s hot, or I just don’t feel like it. What gets me up? The idea of knowing what it REALLY feels like to be down. And, let me tell you, if you’ve never REALLY been down, it sucks. I know that there is something waiting for me and whatever it is, I am ready to go for it. It’s just one more marker on my race.