These are the lyrics women (myself) for years as our anthem. I’m EVERY Woman signifies our strength, our ability to do it all, to be magic, to provide and look good doing it….for HIM, for HER, for THEM. Not one time in the lyric did it say, “Whatever I need I will PROVIDE….and when it comes down to some good old-fashioned SELF-LOVING, I got it….” Yes, it’s a stretch. However, it ties into the message that women have heard and accepted for most of our lifetime. Go AGAINST the instructions that have been provided for your safety. You know, that part they tell you on the plane about securing your OWN oxygen mask before assisting others. We are EVERY woman for EVERYone else. What do we have left for ourselves? And when we take a little for ourselves, WHY do we feel so guilty about it?
Just about every day of my life, I am having a conversation with an overwhelmed woman. I am amazed (and saddened) at how many women feel like it is o.k. to work through their lunches, neglect combing their hair, miss their gym time, skip out on an evening with the girls, not buy themselves a blouse, not eat breakfast, overbook themselves, forget to brush their teeth ALL IN THE NAME of being EVERY woman. It’s as if we have attached our identity to the world around us and if our “titles” are stripped away (mother, wife, employee, employer, friendly neighbor, etc.) we have nothing and we are nothing. I am not saying to take these roles lightly. I very much value and honor my roles and I accepted them willingly. However, when I found myself going without showers for two days because I overworked and running from one side of the city to another one because my children wanted to do several million things after school and my husband had to go out of town and I had clients who had needs and I had family and friends who wanted my attention and then I started missing meals (or binge eating) and losing weight (or gaining weight) and became depressed and then all of them wanted to know what was wrong with me………..blah, blah, blah. Sound familiar?
For a lot of us, it is the ultimate sin to say “no”. Yet, I have to ask who benefits when we work through our lunch. Or when we miss our workout. Or when we don’t shower. Or when we are crabby and agitated and retreat to our favorite Pepsi and honey bun for comfort? Or shall I rephrase the question:
We “get” something from feeling like EVERY woman. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t do it. Does it make us feel powerful? Useful? I realized it made me tired until in that “EVERY” title, I extended those words to mean “Whatever TASHA wants….Whatever TASHA needs.” Because when my oxygen mask is secure, I can breathe and help others. How can you “truly” assist when you are gasping for air?
Breathe. Let it be about you for a moment. You ARE every woman.
Most importantly, you are A WOMAN first. Honor her.