Here it is. No stories. No anecdotes. Just a question.
How long will we continue to ALLOW our HUSBANDS or HONEYS or HISTORY or perceived HINDRANCES continue to dictate the size of our a*&@s?
That’s a strong statement but a very appropriate acronym. It came to me a couple of weeks ago and I sort of dismissed it but it caught me by the next last week as I was walking out of my Zumba looking like I had been in a fight (because we work it out in there). I ran into a young lady whom I have known casually for at least six or seven years. She was accompanied by a friend who recognized me from another gym and excited asked me what days I taught and then asked her friend if she would attend with her. My response was “She can’t because of her hair.” She smiled and said, “Girl, you know my hair won’t do right.” See, we’ve had this discussion (and she verified it) for close to five years. We’ve discussed hair wraps. She’s asked me to change my schedule. We’ve talked about this at the book store and the post office. Her hair is beautiful EVERY TIME I see her. However, she is still battling the weight challenge. Sound familiar?
I admit. I’ve been there. I had a standing appointment with my beloved hair dresser Oma every other Thursday at 10:00 a.m. I have driven in heat waves, snow storms, canceled staff meetings, dragged screaming babies in car seats and everything to get my hair done. And my hair was fabulous. It was the rest of me that was messed up. I am amazed constantly about how something as simple as hair will keep us from fighting the battles of obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis and so on.
And it’s not just our hair. I moved in with my husband three weeks before we got married and I had to fast to fit in my wedding dress because I jumped right into his diet. Out went the grapes and in came the Doritos and Pecan Sandies. When he wasn’t with me during the week, I stayed on my diet 100%. The minute he hit town, out went the Slim Fast, in came the drinks, the desserts, the damage. And it’s not his fault because I had the right to say “no” any time I got ready. Notice I mentioned the word “allow” at the beginning of this post. We have to secure enough in ourselves to not allow who we are in a relationship with to dictate what happens to our bodies and our health. People often want to know how I “survive” being vegan in a house full of meat eaters. I know what works for me.
“I was just meant to be big.” Really? How do you know? There is NO SUCH THING as being “big-boned” (Dr. Ian disproved that on “Celebrity Fit Club”, remember?). I do not believe in the theory of genetic predisposition to obesity. What I DO believe in carrying over habits from generation to generation that keep us obese. Believe me, I come from a family of thick and “low to the ground” women. 🙂 I work hard to maintain this size. Do not be fooled. I grew up on neck bones and potatoes, fried chicken, homemade macaroni and cheese, greens with ham hocks and salt pork and I enjoyed every minute of it….until my body told me differently and I sought other options. I was raised this way because my parents were raised this way and so on. My children are being raised on smoothies and farm fresh eggs, almond milk and grilled tilapia because my means are different than those of my parents and so is my lifestyle. When the information is out there and you still “choose” to believe that you have some gene that keeps you from being healthy or that fat around your middle is somehow “all good” because you are “proud to be thick”. Really?
And, as for the “hindrances” you have made up in your mind like (here’s my favorite): YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT. I often hear this from people who have regular pedicures, beautiful hair that they did not do themselves, clothes that did not come from Target and have a habit of eating out all of the time. What you are really saying is that your priority is not in your health. It just doesn’t “sound” that way to you. Another word for this would be “excuses”. Make opportunities. Don’t think “hindrance.”. Think “hustle”. Do what you have to do to make sure you are doing the best with what you have. Excuses are things you do not want to be surrounded by on a sick/death bed. Give yourself the assurance/insurance of always providing yourself with the best so you can the best and live your best life.
Now that you’ve had that AHA moment, what are you going to do about it?