I’ve been away from the blog game from a minute it but I haven’t been away from life.
I’ve actually been right in the middle of it, finally figuring out the mix that will set me in the right direction and keep me focused on where I want to be instead of being “stuck”mentally where I am mentally and physically. I’ve been working out differently. I’ve been working out consistently. I’ve been working out for MYSELF, CONSISTENTLY. That’s a big step from the days of not being able to get out of the bed because of depression and then not being able to get out of the bed because my thyroid and vitamin D levels and every other hormone in my body was deciding to do whatever it wanted to do. I’ve been eating differently. I’ve been eating PERIOD, like REAL FOOD. That’s different from the days where I would just suck down an energy drink, a tall soy skinny latte (yes, both) and a protein cookie just to stay alive and take on the world with my lack of nutrients, lack of brain power, lack of energy and overly depressed mind.
So…change is good. Continue reading
Discipline doesn’t strike me in the 4:00 a.m. hour when I’m usually up getting ready for work. Discipline shows up on the days when I can sleep in a little bit and I get to leave my house around 7 a.m.
Those are the mornings when, rain or shine, I see my Pastor taking his morning walk. Years ago, I remember us discussing when he was going to start this daily routine as he was at a conference and was inspired by another Pastor to commit time to his health and wellness. He said, “Tasha, I told myself there was no reason why I could not commit time daily.” He told me then he was going to take up walking at least three days a week.
Ten days into 2018 and my body is already falling apart.
And with that I am believing that it’s all coming together.
Years ago, I thought I might have had an intolerance to wheat. I was tested for it on more than one occasion and was basically told that I was being dramatic (well, what they really said was the test showed nothing but I FELT like they told me I was being dramatic). I have been battling a very emotional ordeal with my weight, meaning no matter what I do, no matter how many specialists I see, no matter how many medicines they put me on, my weight continues to be a issue and I’m pretty much down to just eating air, twigs and kale.
It’s hard to make multiple meals out of air, twigs and kale. Continue reading
I sat in the parking lot tonight after teaching my first Piloxing class in three months. I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt. Tired seemed appropriate but there was something more emotional happening inside of me. I looked at my Instagram and saw a post from my girl Tangie and thought, “Yeah. That’s EXACTLY how I feel.’
I want to say, for the record, that this is hard. It’s hard knowing who I used to be and what my life used to look like what my body used to look like, what sleep used to feel like, what moving easily used to feel like, what not having pains from three surgeries felt like. But here I am in 2018, feeling like my body, mind and spirit are a mess. Continue reading
If you’ve been anywhere near me in the last 72 hours, near my car, near the bathroom when I’m in the shower, in the close vicinity when it looks like I’m mumbling to myself, you’ve heard the following words being sang at the top of my lungs:
“Father, You give and take away, every joy and every pain. Through it all, You will remain over it all.”
No lie. I’ve had Tauren Wells’ song, “Hills and Valleys” on repeat. It’s me trying to make sense of 2017, trying to remember where it went, how I didn’t fall apart, how those victories I didn’t deserve seem to come so easy, how life was so up and down (when people thought it was just me being moody) and I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. The only conclusion I could draw is that, in all of that chaos, God was there and coordinating what is to be my next step. It could be a hill or a valley.
But, seriously, 2018 has me believing that I’m going to reach the top of a mountain. A big one. But there is a valley.
It’s called coming to face to face with a decade I like to call “What Really Happened Was….” Continue reading